Archive for the ‘polymer clay humor’ Category

Helping Hands

September 18, 2011

Funny I never looked at hands the way I have this week ever in my life. That is because I am sculpting them. Not very good mind you but I am trying which is something I never planned on doing. Bleeping hands.

My decision was to have them holding something to disguise how bad they really look. Still I would find myself pretend holding stuff up so I could make sure the thumbs were the right way. This  lead to looks from family while walking by and looking at me with my hands up or laughing at myself while hands were pretend holding something.

When was the last time you laughed at yourself while creating art?

Try it you may like it.

 

Women Artists

June 29, 2011

If you follow the blog then you know that I am working on calling myself an artist. Whatever the reasons are they are mine and I am working through them the best way I know how to. Thankfully I was in that mindset BEFORE watching a show on PBS about women artists. I was sick with a cold and forced by my body to get my butt in bed and just stay there doing nothing but taking care of me.

It is very depressing if you look at the facts and figures. What is  the bottom line in it all?

Even without discrimination it is very hard to succeed as a woman artist.

HUNH?

Discrimination? Okay so exactly what are the discriminations that I must face if I want to succeed?

http://www.guerrillagirls.com/posters/twothirds2.shtml

Men vs Women it is the age-old battle for equal pay and recognition. That is an old poster from 1985 surely things have improved since then let us look at this one from 2005.

http://www.guerrillagirls.com/posters/getnakedupdate.shtml

EEEk there is an 83% chance that if I appear in the Met Museum I will be naked?

In all honesty I do not think my work will ever make it to the met I am okay with that feeling because there is still so much I can accomplish.

Along the way I as a woman artist must fight society along with the world’s view of what I should be doing with my life. I have to create my art while making sure as a woman and mother I nurture my family and home.

My husband and son left Sunday for a vacation that I could not get the time off of my real job to be with them on. I began getting sick on Thursday and by Sunday I was a lump on the couch useless and stuck in a pile of Kleenex and cough meds. The only thing I packed out of all those suitcases was my 15 year old’s passport. Thank god it was in its place because they were on their way out the door to the airport and if I had not found it there would have been a lot of drama.

I do not recommend not making sure your passport is where it should be days before you leave to anyone I got lucky because I put it in its place and it stayed there until I needed it :). They made it safely to Saida for some much-needed family time and I have permission to play with clay for a month. Whatever was not packed can be purchased and both of them admitted it was much more peaceful without me confusing them and getting nervous while packing.

So what is left?

Me to get over that mothering I have to do ………… or it will not get done mentality. Again with my art I am my biggest obstacle. On my to do list is to figure out where I want to be with my art, and to knock down every obstacle in my way even if I only saw it because I was forced to with a bad cold. (Get feeling better is on the to do list as well).

If you are not familiar with the Guerrilla Girls and what they are trying to do I highly recommend you check out their informative website. You may be surprised at the facts and numbers or you may be fighting the fight already and dealing with the discrimination.

http://www.guerrillagirls.com/index.shtml

You know It’s a lost cause when…….

November 5, 2010

As you know if you follow the blog I am a proud member of City O Clay. This week the conversation got turned to lost causes and how our art can contribute to them and provide humor and head shaking moments with our loved ones. It is a sickness and I am not the only one who suffers look at all the cooks out there!

YOU KNOW IT’S A LOST CAUSE WHEN……..

1. You buy your toiletries for the lid and the clay molds you can make.

2. Your hubby walks into the lounge saying ‘before I throw this away, can’t you cover it?” (In one hand is a newly opened can of baked beans, and the lid in the other).

3. You buy your soda cans according to the size of your wrist. (Kay)

4. You buy broken or dirty objects at garage sales as they have interesting surface textureing. (Jan)

5. You have a list of ten things to do, and the only thing you do is play with clay.

6. You sacrifice your expensive make-up brushes so you can use them to paint clay. (Mozelle)

7. You own five pasta machines, and not a single one was ever used to make edible pasta. (Debbie G)

8. You look at the spices in the cupboard to see what would be fun to mix with clay.

9. Your 1 1/2 year old nephew knows what buttons to push to start your tumbler. (Ashley)

10. You can’t eat mints quick enough, so have to keep them in a zip-lock back so you can cover the tin with clay.

11. You buy coffee in cans so you can use them to make fairy houses. (Christen)

12. Everyone who knows you is looking at bottles and the bottoms of them, to see what can be made from them. (Glitz)

13. You and your family save any sort of packaging (meat trays, muffin boxes etc) because they have ‘cool texture’ on them.

14. You don’t want to do anything on Saturday night as there is a live clay demo on-line.

15. You started your own company because you couldn’t get good supplies anywhere else. (Valerie)

16. You have to make sure to have a plastic bag (preferably more than one) with you, because you never know what you might find whenever you leave the house!

17 Ever your sister-in-law she, on trips to the mountains, drags all sorts of rocks, pinecones, acorns etc along because she knows you’ll love them and can always use them. She will even jump up from the table to get moss from underneath the trees. I have collected 5 bags full!

18. Your ? tries to throw pieces of wood away without you seeing, because otherwise it’ll go back home again from the dump.

19. You cut the hair off your dog’s tail because it’s needed for a sculpt.

20. Your closet is stuffed so full with little found things, from butterfly wings and cicada husks to sorted bags of hair, packing material, and store-bought items that the door won’t close it’s ‘open at your own peril.” (Astrid)

21. You cook a turkey carcass for the bones instead of the broth, just so you can see what kind of molds you can make from the bones.

22. You get caught squatting behind the car, sticking clay into the tyre treads

23. You ask for discount when you only want the tin, but not the Altoids.

24. You try to explain why a blown out lightbulb is more exciting than one that can serve it’s real purpose.

25. You ask your friends and family to save their toilet paper cones for you, so you can make napkin rings.

26. Your husband is not allowed near the trash can.

27. You can’t figure out what to say when someone asks you why you have a coffee can full of pistachio nut shells labelled ‘someday’

28. You bump into someone in the parking lot while your eyes are hovering the ground for bottle caps, rocks with texture and broken parts of anything.

29. You know EXACTLY where all your clay stuff is, but can’t always locate the stove in the kitchen.

30. You’re hollering “I can’t believe you threw it away” with your head buried in the garbage can, as the dog-walking neighbour strolls by.

31. Your kid says he can’t find some of his marbles, and you can’t look him in the eye, because you don’t want to admit that they now reside inside your miniature dolls heads.

32. You purchase the ugliest blouse in the thrift store just because the lace has the exact pattern you need for that clay dolls skirt.

33. You stop dead in your tracks, bend over to pick up a piece of bark, and fart in the face of the person behind. (luny)

34. You pull a few hairs from the dog as it passes by, because you need some to use as whiskers.

35. You want to marry so you can see what your husband keeps in his tool shed. (Adele)

36. You see family members lounging on the couch and you attempt to throw clay under their bums to warm it up.

37. Your family uses your tools instead of theirS, because yours are cooler, and can be found because you put them back where they belong (Julie S)

38. You use your food processor for clay instead of food.

39. You see the guys in Home Depot running the other way when they see you coming down their aisle.

Have fun reading and if you see yourself or family members and friends please pass along that way they know they are not the only ones that have the sickness.